i just dont fell right...
can't quite put my finger in it...sorry aboout writing in english, sometimes my thoughts just flow better this way...i hold back less....i guess.
so, this fucking rain is better be weashing away this anxiety, or...weird, not that i feel in my chest right now.
so...i came here, to escape, or to get help form myself, froom this pages, that almost no one reads anyway, just, to get this out of me...this weird feeling, this, not, this, hell.
indecision, doubt, fear...whatever i call it, i dont have a name for it...not now...not ever maybe, its just a feeling, a feeling that wont go away right now, but wont be here tomorrow...
i know, and thats what makes everything be ok, cause i know tomorrow ill have another feeling. another fear. and ill learn form them. i've been learning so much in my life, some things i only realize now...but im thankfull for so much.
i am so thankfull. thanksgiving day is gone, but i feel i can speak now...it doenst matter anyway.
i just need to get this out, and i fell great typing this lines hre, that i know came form me, from myself, my soul, whatever. i dont usually right my own stuff here. im so dumb like like. this should be the place to put my fucking sould, my gutts out.
but i dont.
for so many reason, and for none at all.
im just mad at myself.
and the world that i dont understand now, and wont ever, cuase its just the way things are.
ant the rain stopped, and i took a breath, and...maybe, the light will come and take the not away.
maybe it wont.
but i'll be different tomorrow.
i'll be, some more like me, maybe.
well...
i hope so.